Baby A---4 months

my baby!  she is four months old now!  she is really a baby now and less of an infant.  she is getting so interactive.  and fun.  and loud.  and she is just so damn cute.  we are all having fun with her.  the main thing this past month is that i've been sleep training her for her naps.  since she is awake so much more of the day now, she often won't just fall asleep on her own like she did before, and i was having problems with z waking her up when she did fall asleep, either intentionally or on accident he would wake her up.  and then she'd be grumpy.  so i decided to let her cry it out a little bit for her naps.  i would like her to get on a schedule.  i can't remember from when z was little how many naps and hours she should be sleeping exactly.  i think she should be taking three naps a day.  sometimes she does, but usually i can get her down for two naps, or maybe 2 1/2 naps.  she takes a short morning nap and then an afternoon and late afternoon/early evening nap.  so anyway, for her naps i put her in her rock n play, turn on the little musical glow-worm, give her a binkie, and let her be.  she usually cries, so i go in and calm her down by rocking the rock n play and shushing.  then when she calms down, i leave the room again, and usually have to do that a few times before she falls asleep.  she usually doesn't cry longer than 15 minutes before she sleeps.  and this is so different than z.  when he was a baby, if i let him cry it out, he would never stop.  he could cry for hours.  but she is doing great.  i plan to sleep train her for bedtime as well soon.  that way at least one kid will sleep easily, haha.  i recently started her in the cloth diapers, she is finally big enough to fit in them, although they are a still a bit bulky on her. we are using the bum genius 4.0 that z uses and we inherited a couple flip covers and thirsties brand covers and then I bought two, because they are smaller so they fit her better for now. this past month she has also found her voice.  she is so loud now, hahahah!  if she wants something, she definitely lets us know.  she is also giggling a little bit and gurgling and cooing and just chatting a lot.  she is even more obsessed with her hands than before, she is constantly chewing on them.  and she is always chewing on our hands now.  and other objects like sophie the giraffe, her ball, her shirt, whatever.  she is getting even more strong.  she loves to stand, and she is constantly trying to sit up,  i remember when z would try to do this, try to pull themselves up into a sitting position when lying down.  the other day, i put her in her rock n play, which is a little inclined, and she sat straight up in it!  and stayed sitting up for about a minute.  i was so shocked!  hahahah, she is such a strong little girl.  she is easy to smile, and just so sweet.  she has started to grab her hair with her left hand, i remember z did that too.  and she loves to look ok at her reflection in the mirror. unfortunately she had her first cold this month, she is still a little stuffy currently.  thankfully it wasn't a bad cold for her, and she seems to be just fine.  but she absolutely hates when I try to suction her nose, she bats my hands away and thrashed her head from side to side. she is quite adamant that i will not suction her nose. she has been more interested in toys lately.   she still loves her brother and is so so entertained by him, and whenever she sees her baba she gives him the biggest smile.  and of course, she loves her mama.  and we just adore her.

-feeding: still just drinking mama's milk. now when she nurses, she grabs my hands, holds onto my finger, sometimes she looks up and smiles, i love this part. this will probably be the last time i nurse a baby, so i'm soaking it all in. 

-growth: we just went to her four month checkup and she is just 12 lbs and just over 2 feet which makes her tenth and sixteenth percentile, respectively, but she is healthy and developing normally, the doctor just suggested to feed her every 2 hours during the day to make sure she is getting enough calories and gave us the green light for solids although i will wait until she is 6 months old, she does not seem ready or even interested yet

-development: moving around, trying to sit up and play with toys and her hands, she always holds her hands together, it is so funny, and she is chewing on more things now, she doesn't move as much as z did, he was constantly flailing his arms and kicking his legs, always moving and wiggling around, she is a little more calm, haha.  she is so great at tummy time, and will roll from her tummy to her back.  just the other day she was on her back and she rolled to her tummy, which surprised me!  i feel like she is going to sit up early, she wants to see what's going on. 

-sleep: she pretty much sleeps through the night, usually she doesn't wake up until 6 or so to nurse, but since she has had a little cold, she wakes up around 2 am and then 6 am because she can't breathe through her nose very well, poor thing.  and i spoke about the sleep training for naps.

-temperament: pretty laid back, but will stand up for what she wants , haha, she is going to be giggly i think. she is so sweet and very sociable 

-likes: baths, her hands, her family, being cuddled, milk, playing, watching big brother z

-dislikes: being cold, being tired, when no one is paying attention to her, loud noises

this is first thing in the morning, she is smiling at her reflection in the mirror

-me: this was a rough month, because it was the month of Bahai fasting, even though i wasn't fasting, hubs was, and so that just makes things more challenging.  also, z has had a cold for 3 weeks and has been extremely cranky.  and he has been going through this phase of being a little aggressive, defiant, and shouty.  so it has been really trying.  he also has his wonderful moments of being super sweet, fun, playful, it's that whole roller coaster thing.  but i felt like i have been so challenged lately with these toddler moments.  some days are honestly impossible. but i am doing the best i can to keep a routine, keep him busy, go to children's classes and little gym.  i think part of the problem is that it's been so crappy and rainy outside that we've pretty much been couped up inside and only have been outdoors a couple times.  and z neeeeeeds to go outside.  poor guy.  so anyway, the last few days have been so nice and he has been able to go outside.  i have my ups and downs, i feel so blessed and also very tested, happy but stressed, all these conflicting feelings that are so confusing.  it's hard.  it's hard to do this, to raise little people.  i love them all so much that it makes me so vulnerable and scared of all the things that could disturb our little family.  so i try to focus on how fun it will be to watch these two grow and become each other's best friends, and have adventures together.  and i pray a lot.  i'm fine, i'm not depressed or anything, but just struggling to figure out this parenting business.  parenting a baby right now is fairly easy, it's the toddler stuff that's hard, because it's all new, and because i'm not a super patient person, and things are just so busy.  hmmm, let's see, i'm also not losing any of the baby weight anymore, haha!  i'm about 26 lbs more than my normal weight.  it seems like this time it is much harder to take it off.  i have been trying to exercise, i started 8 minute abs, haha, old school, but it works!  and then some random aerobic programs on youtube, but it's hard to do when the kids are awake, so last week for instance i only was able to do the abs workout 3 times and cardio twice.  i did go for a nice walk that left me out of breath after pushing the kids in the stroller uphill, so i count that as exercise.  but i want to be able to do it more consistently, it's just impossible right now.  i actually would like to keep 10 extra pounds on, so i only want to lose about 15 lbs, but really, i'm not that concerned with losing a certain number of pounds, i just want to strengthen my body.  and be able to fit into my clothes.  i seriously can only fit into my stretchy pants and maybe 4 shirts.  it's so annoying.  i'm not body shaming myself or anything, and there are actually aspects of my post-preggie body that i like, but not fitting into any clothes that i own is a pain.  and the few shirts that i bought recently that are nursing friendly and cover my bum in stretchy pants shrunk in the (cold water) wash.  arggg!  so anyway, hopefully i can take some of this weight around my middle off, or at least some inches, so i can wear a few more things in my closet.  and be able to walk up a hill without hyperventilating, haha.  i feel like i'm taking the steps to get back on track spiritually.  during the fast, since i wasn't fasting, i focused more on prayer, praying daily and reading some of the writings.  that has been helpful.  progress all around seems like it's a step forward and then a step to the side, or a step backwards right now.  again, there are good days and there are really rough days.  i can't say this enough, but i am so thankful to the people that have been so supportive, to let me vent, or to commiserate with, or to share fun stories, or share prayers, to those that give me hope and inspiration, and motivate me, the ones that laugh and cry with me, and pray for our little family, to the ones that visit, or let us visit and are so gracious with our toddler in their house, the ones that go on adventures with us and facetime with us, to those that have been through it and drop special treats at our house, or assure us that it gets better, and to those that remind us that our kids are really great, and the ones that watch our kiddos so hubs and i can go out and eat a nice meal together, i humbly thank you from the bottom of my heart.  you are so special to me and our family, and i appreciate you all so much.  and especially, my hubby.  he really is the best, hardest working, most helpful and loyal father and hubby, and i am so thankful to be here with him.

so, during the end of the pregnancy and up until now, my eyelashes just disappeared, at least, on my right eye, a huge chunk in the middle just fell out and didn't grow back.  it was so sad. so i looked online and read that other mamas had similar problems and some of them used this l'oreal lash grow product.  i thought, what the hell?  i ordered some, and started using it a few times a week and after about three weeks, they grew back!  so i have eyelashes again, wooohoooo!