ok so this will be the last post about Ava for the week. haha. i wanted to review the past year, Ava's first. it really went by so quickly. sometimes i think back to the time when she was a newborn with her cute little squishy face, melting into my shoulder while she slept, making sweet baby grunting noises. it makes my heart squeeze. for the most part she was such a pleasant newborn. i really think about that time with so much fondness, and i really was in the newborn bubble with her. it was heaven. we had some struggles getting breastfeeding going initially, but we got it resolved and it was smooth sailing. she slept well, she was easy to calm down and soothe, she was cuddly. ugh, it was great. it allllmost makes me want another one. but not really. not for real. i just want to cuddle someone else's newborn.
when i think about little miss ava's personality as a one year old, i have a little chuckle. she is cuddly and affectionate, giggly and happy, but also headstrong, she sticks up for herself, is incredibly persistent, and knows what she wants. and then i think back to when, surprisingly, she first came into being. i had an idea i was pregnant, although i was in a little bit of shock because this sweet soul decided to nestle into my womb earlier than planned, haha. she is assertive.
honestly, right now, the first few months of her life is kind of a haze in my mind. i remember feeling un-anchored. the taking-care-of-baby stuff was fine, much easier than the first time around because, well, i already did it once. i was much more proficient, experienced and confident. but i felt lots of anxiety. about everything. i remember taking Z to the little gym, while Ava slept in her carseat on the sidelines. i remember nursing her while reading books or playing play-do with Z. i remember her sleeping in her rock n play next to my side of the bed. i remember trying to get both Z and Ava to take a nap at the same time for awhile until she was more on a schedule. it was kind of rough. we were so sleep deprived. i was unknowingly struggling with postpartum anxiety. Z was adjusting. hubs was picking up the slack at home.
but even though the situation was crazy and hectic, baby A was great. our little sweetheart. when she began to move around and be more active, it became more fun. she started sitting, then crawling, and more recently cruising and attempting to walk. she tries to play with Z and keep up with him. she is actually gaining a lot of new skills. she is quite clever. just recently she started playing with the stacking toy, and she has become pretty good at it. today she spent a good 20 minutes stacking the wood rings, taking them off one by one and doing it again, then turning the toy upside down and re-stacking. she was very focused. she loves to climb. she wants to climb up the stairs all the time and then she rockets back down them so fast that she almost tumbles backwards over herself. she now blows kisses, and can show me where her head and belly are. she can follow simple directions. she remembers stuff. she just started physically defending herself, haha. if Z tries to take something from her, she recently started hitting or pulling his hair. or if Z is sitting with me, she will crawl over and try to pull him off. she is a little more aggressive. and shouty. but then she will give such nice loves. she still just says "uh-oh", "hi" and "hello".
i took her to the 12 month appointment today and she is 33 percentile for weight and 40 for height and 93 for head circumference. so she grew a lot since her 9 month appointment. she is 18.9 lbs and 74 inches. she has hit all the milestones she is supposed to, so that makes me feel like we are doing something right! today i was thinking about the time when her and Z will be really playing together, giggling, maybe sneaking some snacks or staying up late reading books. it made my heart squeeze.
so, here's Ava's first year in pictures:
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