sometimes, when you are a parent, you forget what you are doing

i don't know if this has happened to any of you parents out there (probably), but sometimes when you are a parent, you forget what the hell you are doing.  not only minute to minute, like when you walk into a room to grab something and your child runs after you screaming 'mama mama MAAAMMMAAAAA!!!!" and then you forget why you went into that room in the first place.  but also in the direction that you'd like to veer towards in parenting.  sometimes i feel so lost and that i have somehow been lured off my path by electronic toys, carb filled snacks and impatience.  i swear, i just had this revelation the other day and it kind of freaked me out how off track i got.  a little backstory, i had read Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman a few years back, before i was pregnant.  in the book she discusses some of the differences between her observations of french and american parenting.  she particularly wanted to figure out why, while raising her small children in france, her children weren't behaving in the same ways as the french children around.  why did these french children sit so well during dinner and eat all of their food, including veggies?  why did they sleep through the night so young and why were they able to play so well by themselves?  i loved the book and thought that i would follow the french as far as food and diet goes.  i re-read the book after i became pregnant and refer back to it every now and then.  i decided that i would feed z lots of fruits and veggies, and that he would not have a bunch of snacks in between meals, and that he would sit at the table for his meals.  the problem with all this is implementing it, especially in the toddler years.  at first, it was great, when i started z on solids, i started him with bananas and then prunes and then introduced apple, kale, spinach, peas, carrots, sweet potato, etc.  later, i would mix his pureed fruits and veg with rice cereal or a mix of whole grain cereal, and it evolved into him eating chunkier food and then finger foods until he was eating the same thing as we did for dinner, but in developmentally appropriate portions and consistencies, following his lead.  we eat a varied and diverse diet, so i felt good knowing that z was getting used to many different flavors and different ways that foods could be prepared.  he has always eaten veggies pretty well, so i was thankful for that.  but, a little while ago i noticed that he should definitely eat more veggies, as i wasn't sure of how else to integrate veggies into breakfast and how i could do a better job of adding different veg into lunch, particularly if he wasn't just eating dinner leftovers.  the main thing, though, that just hit me the other day was about snacks and snacking. in the book it says that french parents don't let their kids snack all day, they have one afternoon snack. and because of that, the kids eat their meals well, and they will eat veggies well especially if they are offered first. makes total sense. and that was my plan.  until z turned into a toddler and became more vocal and demanding and the easiest way to keep him from screaming in the car or the store was to give him some puffs or crackers.  it hit me while we were in the car running some errands and z was yelling 'NACKS!  NAAAAACKS!"  i was thinking, man, this kid is too dependent on snacks.  i wanted to avoid this exact situation; one in which he fills up on carby snacks during the day and is also becoming dependent on food as a source of entertainment, something to do when he is bored.  so i decided right then and there we were done with snacks.  we would only use them as a last resort or for special occasions (like on an airplane ride).  that was about 2 weeks ago and since then i have been feeding z his breakfast, lunch, a snack after he wakes up from his nap and then dinner.  no snacking in between meals.  and his snacks have been healthy; fruit, veggie matchsticks (various veg cut up into matchstick size pieces), cheese, yogurt, maybe a cracker or two, stuff like that.  i also found some more ways to incorporate veggies into his lunch, like if i give him a sandwich i will make it a pb sandwich with grated carrots and honey or a grilled cheese with zucchini or spinach.  if we make him hash for breakfast, we add zucchini or spinach or carrot or all of the above.  and he happily eats it.  i still am not quite sure what other ways i can add veggies to breakfast, but i have been looking at different ideas and recipes.  but i do like the idea of making smoothies and adding spinach, kale or carrot, i think he would really like it.  anyway, i kind of changed the way that i give him food, too.  for breakfast and lunch he sits in his high chair, but without the tray and i scoot him up to the table, i use a divided plate and a regular cup and give him a fork or spoon.  this seems to be more fun for him, because he eats more and it seems like he enjoys trying to feed himself with the spoon, and to have some independence.  i want to get him a little table and chair so that he can sit there for those meals.  he sits at the dinner table with me and hubs in the dining room for dinner, so we'll keep that the same.  anyway, there's more i could write about on this topic, namely, having patience and giving z lots of freedom within a framework of rules and guidelines, things like that.  maybe i'll follow this post up with another discussing those topics.  but if you happen to have any great ideas or recipes that use veggies in breakfast dishes for toddlers, please share!