sitting idle

over the last weekend, there was time for hubby and i to relax and basically do nothing for a bit, which is rare for us.  it seems strange, because it's almost as if we don't know how to do that, to sit and just be.  in fact, even the way that i think about it seems strange as reflected in the title of this post "sitting idle".  idle has a negative connotation to it that veers more towards being lazy, so even that isn't the proper word that i'm searching for when i think about just being still and quiet for awhile.  my life definitely seems 'busy' to me, and i know that is the case for most of my friends and family.  it makes me wonder what we are all so busy with.  yes, some are wonderful activities to be busy with, things like service to one's community, various sports and arty activities, things like that.  but sometimes i think, how could i be so busy that i barely have time to spend with my family and friends?  and what is wrong with us as a society to think that being still for a few moments, or even a few hours is such a waste of time?  i actually feel guilty when i take a moment to relax.  that just seems wrong!  because during these last few weeks of pregnancy, with school on break and no job along with just being too big and uncomfortable to tackle my to-do list activities with my normal gusto, i have been forced to go slow, take it easy and relax more.  and it's hard for me.  i actually feel like i'm wasting valuable time when i have to take breaks between activities because my feet have swollen up like balloons and my back is hurting.  don't get me wrong, i don't really think that having one's entire day filled up with leisure time all day, everyday without doing anything productive is the way to go.  just that it seems strange that the norm is to completely fill up our days with activities and things to "get done" without any kind of balance.  this is also demonstrated in how people behave during times of no activity, like being on the bus or sitting in a park.  for example, over the weekend when hubby and i were relaxing in the park, after eating lunch, we sat around for about 25-30 minutes, and then we were done.  i can't speak for my hubby, or anyone else for that matter, but just sitting and thinking, people watching, whatever, is so damn difficult to do!  after about 5 minutes i have to whip out my phone and see what's new on facebook, pinterest or instagram because i'm bored.  bored!  i don't know, just things that i've been thinking about lately, maybe in an effort to make myself feel less guilty for having more leisure and relaxation time right now.  but, i definitely feel that there is an imbalance in general between leisure time and productive time, as well as all kinds of guilty and stressful feelings that come along with it.  personally, i'd like to figure out how to balance this out better, especially since my hubby and i are building our family.  anyway, just ramblings....if any of you have comments, suggestions, or anything interesting to say about this topic, please comment below.  you know, all 3 of you that actually read this blog, hehehee.  thanks for listening/reading!