Ava's first month

 oh man, i can't believe this little one is a month old already.  well, technically she is 5 weeks as of this blog post.  she is growing a lot and her personality is starting to become more evident.  she has started to smile at us and "play".  she is awake more often and when she is alert, if we make faces at her, like sticking our tongue out, etc, she tries to imitate us, and she thinks it is funny, she will smile really big.  also, she is fascinated by z.  when he talks to her or tries to make her laugh she gives him some smiles, too.  z is so sweet with her.  sometimes he may not be paying attention and is clumsy like any two year old and may accidentally bump her but the way he acts with her is so sweet.  he will try to giver her a binkie is she is fussing, and tell her "it's ok baby sister, calm down" or cover her with a blanket.  he tries to make her laugh by being silly, he is always gently patting her head and giving her hugs and kisses.  it is the best.  he has been handling the transition relatively well, he does struggle a little but he doesn't take it out on baby sister, he takes it out on us with his behavior and sleep.  he has become a little defiant sometimes, especially if he wants something that we don't want to give him, like a second helping of a treat or to watch another show.  it's hard to tell if this behavior is due to the changes in his world or just the fact that he is two.  but his sleep has deteriorated.  it still takes awhile for him to go to sleep at night and he has been waking up several times every night since baby sister has been home.  it's exhausting.  and because we're all a little sleep deprived, we all are not as patient as we can and need to be.  i hope this phase ends soon.  i imagine in a couple months things will be more calm and we'll be more settled.  so i'll format these monthly updates the same as i did with z.  here goes:

-feeding:  exclusively breastfeeding.  it took a little while for her to get the hang of it, and for the first 2-3 weeks at night i had to feed her with a syringe and then we switched to a bottle because she just would not nurse well in the middle of the night.  i don't know if it was because she was very tired or what, but she did not want to latch, and then when she did she would only suck a few times and then pop off and start crying, or fall asleep.  she just was not eating well at night.  so after reading about ideas from kellymom and consulting with my doctor, i fed with a syringe at night and then switched to a bottle, of pumped milk, until she gained a little weight.  i figured that she would outgrow it eventually, and for the past few nights she has been nursing all right at night, well enough that i don't have to feed her with a bottle.  so let's hope it stays that way.  other than that, she nurses very frequently, especially in the evenings and when i am about to eat a meal.

-growth: she feels heavier and is definitely longer.  i imagine she is less than 10 lbs still, but she is gaining weight, her cheeks are chunkier for sure.  she is in newborn clothes but is starting to outgrow some of them in length.

-development:  she is smiling, and although she doesn't laugh quite yet, she will make a little grunting noise or gurgle when something amuses her.  she is very grunty and makes a lot of newborn noises still.  she is noisy.  she generally only cries when she is hungry or gassy or really tired.  she is moving a lot more now, kicking her legs and waving her arms around.  i love to watch her stretch, it's so cute when she arches her back and her little arms don't go up past the top of her head.

-sleep:  she sleeps well mostly.  she usually takes several naps during the day and will sleep a big chunk at night, like 4-6 hours or so.  she isn't consistent though.  some nights she falls asleep early, like 9 or 10, and may sleep until 1 or 2 and then nurse and go back to sleep until 7 or so, other nights she doesn't go to sleep until 1 or 2 and then sleep until 7 and some nights she wakes up around 4 and won't go back to sleep until nearly 7.  hopefully she will get on some sort of schedule soon.

-diaper situation: using newborn disposables for now, but when she is a little bigger i will switch over to cloth like we did with z.  our friends so nicely passed us some cloth diapers, so we gained an extra 20 or so to add to the 25 we already have, which makes me feel better, because that will be plenty for the both of them without making me go crazy with all the diaper laundry.

-temperament:  she is sweet.  she is getting smiley, and she is playful at times.  other times she is kind of grumpy like her brother, but that's usually when she needs something or is uncomfortable.  she has a fiesty side to her though. she likes to be held although she will tolerate being in the mamaroo and the carrier.  she likes to be around her mama.

-likes: mama, baths, being cozy, milk, cuddling

-dislikes: being cold or uncomfortable, hiccups, being tired

-parenting a toddler and a newborn;  it is hard y'all!  they are in such different stages, and so my parenting skills need to range across the spectrum from newborn needs to toddler needs, and toddler needs are difficult.  i think a lot about my sister in law, when the twins were born and were able to come home, she was juggling three; my oldest niece who was maybe around two and a half or so, and the twins, who were preemies and needed a lot of care and attention.  and she was pumping milk around the clock.  i am amazed at how well she did.  it's difficult.

-me: feeling pretty good, i'm pretty much all healed up from pregnancy and the labor and delivery.  i healed quicker this time around.  it is amazing how the annoying symptoms of pregnancy like lower back pain, pubis symphysis, sciatic nerve pain, heartburn, all that stuff, just goes away when you are no longer pregnant!  although now i have some back and neck pain from sitting around nursing a lot or my back gets tired and sore when i have her in the carrier, likely because my ab muscles are jacked right now so my back is picking up the slack.  i actually am looking forward to getting into an exercise routine soon.  my post partum appointment is this week, so i imagine the midwife will give me the green light on exercising.  i want to strengthen my core to help with the back pain but i also want to get rid of the extra flub around my middle.  i remember having some extra weight and a belly after z was born, but i have more of it this time around.  i'm not so concerned with losing weight, but i just want to strengthen my body again and feel comfortable.  i am feeling some anxiety about being alone with these two kiddos when hubs goes back to work.  there are logistics that i can't quite figure out yet, like how to accommodate both of them when they both need something from me.  stuff like that.  so, we will see how it goes.  i foresee some days with tears, tantrums and stress eating.  wish me luck, send prayers, think positive thoughts.  haha.  i know we'll figure it out eventually.

so that's about it for the first update, i think.  i am really trying to be intentional about taking time to enjoy this newborn period.  i feel less stressed this time around and therefore more able to enjoy this time, for the most part.