binkie weaning
well guys. we have weaned our boy off the binkie. and it wasn't as painful as i expected.
it's funny considering that when Z was a newborn and i was desperate to find a way to get him to calm down, i had to almost force he binkie on him. not really but it took awhile for him to get used to it and then he really was not that interested, he could take it or leave it until he was about 8-9 months. then he was hooked. it was the best thing to get him to go to sleep, and if you have read this blog before you know Z is not a great sleeper. i was fine with him having it for awhile until it seemed natural to get rid of it. it was useful this last year when i was pregnant and then baby sister arrived. but turning 3 was a big deal in my mind and the time when it would buh bye binkie. i actually wanted him to be potty trained, binkie weaned AND able to just fall asleep all by himself by 3. but since potty training has proved to be an off and on thing with Z, and we are slowly working on the sleep thing, we were pretty set on him being done with the bink. i read a bunch of different methods and experiences on the interwebs. we had been preparing him that when he turns 3, binkies are not allowed for big boys and he would have to give his up in exchange for his presents. i also told him that we should give his binkie to a baby that doesn't have their own. everytime we talked to him about it, he would say 'nooooo!, i don't want to be a big boy!" or something to that effect. besides that, we didn't really have a plan. he already was only using it for naps and nighttime sleep, and the occasional torturous car ride.
so, on his third birthday i talked to him about it again, and reminded him. we let him use it one last time for his night time sleep. then, the next day, in the morning, i took it and said we were going to give it to a baby that doesn't have their own binkie and he is a big boy now, and big boys don't use binkies. i was going to have him help me put it in a box, but he was having none of it, so instead i just hid it somewhere when he wasn't looking. that day, when i was giving him a nap, he said "oh i forgot my binkie!" and i reminded him that he was all done with the binkie. he was sad, and cried and threw a little tantrum, but eventually calmed down and then said he was not going to take a nap. i was kind of expecting that. later that night, when hubs was about to put him to sleep, he was whiny and then said he wanted his binkie. he was soooooooo tired from not napping, and so it makes the evening more difficult anyway, but the lack of binkie on top of it was the worst. he criiiiiieeeed his really sad cry. he was grieving. it kind of broke my heart a little. then he started throwing a tantrum and yelling, "maaaammmmaaaa!" over and over. hubs left Z's room and took a break in the hallway. i lay next to Z on his bed, and calmed him down. then we had a conversation:
Z: i want my binkie
me: i know, buddy, but you are three now and you don't need a binkie anymore
Z: i don't want to be three
me: i hear you buddy, i don't want to be 37 this year, but it's going to happen, we all get bigger
Z: i don't want my birthday anymore
me: that makes me very sad buddy, i'm sad that you don't want your birthday
Z: you know what makes me sad, mama?
me: what buddy?
Z: not having my binkie
me: i know buddy (giving him hugs and trying not to cry haha)
Z: you can take my vacuum and my binoculars back, i just want my binkie
me: oh buddy, it's ok to be sad, but you should keep your presents
Z: i just want a blue birthday
me: what's a blue birthday
Z: it's a birthday where i don't get any presents but i get to keep my binkie
me: (trying not to laugh)....(also, very impressed with his perseverance) (also, i don't really know how to respond to this)
Z: i don't want my vacuum cleaner anymore
me: well, you should keep your vacuum, because you can't have your binkie anymore anyway, when you are three, you can't really have a binkie anymore, plus it's going to mess up your beautiful teeth
then we started having a conversation about how the bink can mess up his teeth, he looked at my teeth, saw my fillings, and we had a conversation about that. eventually, we sang some prayers and he fell asleep without a binkie. but, before all that happened, he was grinding his teeth and miming sucking on a binkie like some sort of junkie. i was so surprised at how addictive those things are, haha!
that was on wednesday and today is tuesday evening and we are still binkie free. he never mentioned it again although for a couple more days he would get a little fussy right before going to sleep and i'm sure it has to do with not having his beloved. so, to make it easier to get him to sleep for his naps, i downloaded this children's meditation that we listen to in order to make him calm and relaxed. it seems to be working well. and he has only tried to swipe baby sister's binkie a couple times, mostly as a game.
so there we have it! waaaaay less painful than i thought it would be. i think deep down he was ready to be done, even though he didn't know it. now we just have to get through this potty training business!
so, on his third birthday i talked to him about it again, and reminded him. we let him use it one last time for his night time sleep. then, the next day, in the morning, i took it and said we were going to give it to a baby that doesn't have their own binkie and he is a big boy now, and big boys don't use binkies. i was going to have him help me put it in a box, but he was having none of it, so instead i just hid it somewhere when he wasn't looking. that day, when i was giving him a nap, he said "oh i forgot my binkie!" and i reminded him that he was all done with the binkie. he was sad, and cried and threw a little tantrum, but eventually calmed down and then said he was not going to take a nap. i was kind of expecting that. later that night, when hubs was about to put him to sleep, he was whiny and then said he wanted his binkie. he was soooooooo tired from not napping, and so it makes the evening more difficult anyway, but the lack of binkie on top of it was the worst. he criiiiiieeeed his really sad cry. he was grieving. it kind of broke my heart a little. then he started throwing a tantrum and yelling, "maaaammmmaaaa!" over and over. hubs left Z's room and took a break in the hallway. i lay next to Z on his bed, and calmed him down. then we had a conversation:
Z: i want my binkie
me: i know, buddy, but you are three now and you don't need a binkie anymore
Z: i don't want to be three
me: i hear you buddy, i don't want to be 37 this year, but it's going to happen, we all get bigger
Z: i don't want my birthday anymore
me: that makes me very sad buddy, i'm sad that you don't want your birthday
Z: you know what makes me sad, mama?
me: what buddy?
Z: not having my binkie
me: i know buddy (giving him hugs and trying not to cry haha)
Z: you can take my vacuum and my binoculars back, i just want my binkie
me: oh buddy, it's ok to be sad, but you should keep your presents
Z: i just want a blue birthday
me: what's a blue birthday
Z: it's a birthday where i don't get any presents but i get to keep my binkie
me: (trying not to laugh)....(also, very impressed with his perseverance) (also, i don't really know how to respond to this)
Z: i don't want my vacuum cleaner anymore
me: well, you should keep your vacuum, because you can't have your binkie anymore anyway, when you are three, you can't really have a binkie anymore, plus it's going to mess up your beautiful teeth
then we started having a conversation about how the bink can mess up his teeth, he looked at my teeth, saw my fillings, and we had a conversation about that. eventually, we sang some prayers and he fell asleep without a binkie. but, before all that happened, he was grinding his teeth and miming sucking on a binkie like some sort of junkie. i was so surprised at how addictive those things are, haha!
that was on wednesday and today is tuesday evening and we are still binkie free. he never mentioned it again although for a couple more days he would get a little fussy right before going to sleep and i'm sure it has to do with not having his beloved. so, to make it easier to get him to sleep for his naps, i downloaded this children's meditation that we listen to in order to make him calm and relaxed. it seems to be working well. and he has only tried to swipe baby sister's binkie a couple times, mostly as a game.
so there we have it! waaaaay less painful than i thought it would be. i think deep down he was ready to be done, even though he didn't know it. now we just have to get through this potty training business!
in loving memory of the binkie
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