weaned-baby 2.0

me and mah girl

so here we are.  at the end of the breastfeeding journey.  it's kind of bittersweet.  but mostly i feel good about it.  ava has been weaned from nursing for about 3 weeks now.  i always wanted the weaning process to be organic for both of my kiddos and for me as well.  and ava just dropped certain feedings naturally.  except up until a couple months ago i was still nursing her first thing in the morning and for some of her naps.  i felt like i was ready to be done.  it's interesting nursing a toddler.  the good thing is that ava is so tiny that it felt more like nursing a one year old, haha.  but i was looking ahead, i was hoping to fast this year in march.  and after 5 years of being pregnant or nursing a baby, i was just ready to move on from that phase.

i am so extremely grateful and thankful to my body for doing what it did.  when i think about it deeply, it's such an amazing thing to do, to nourish your baby with your own body, during pregnancy and afterwards.  the science of breastmilk is amazing to me.  it's the most perfect food for baby, it has everything that baby requires, it can never be fully replicated.  it's full of vitamins, carbs, fat, protein.  it really is a living liquid as it's also full of beneficial microbes for your baby's gut.  the fact that there is this agreement between your body and your baby's; that baby's body will send signaling hormones to your body to change the milk according to the baby's needs.  if the baby is sick your milk will have more antibodies.  i mean, a baby up to 6 months old doesn't even need to drink water, they just need breastmilk!  amazing!  we are still learning about breastmilk and all of its amazing abilities not to mention the link between your baby and your body through the process of breastfeeding.  and colostrum!  it's like liquid gold.

but anyway, i am amazed and thankful that my babies and i were able to experience breastfeeding together.  it wasn't always easy or comfortable, and sometimes was annoying or painful, but overall i have such beautiful memories of the journey.  the squeaky newborn sounds when baby is nursing at first, the comfort that it gave to both of us, the fact that if baby was hungry and needed some love it was right there ready to go at the perfect temperature.  the most precious to me is when baby is nursing, puts their tiny little hand on the breast, and looks up with trust and love and comfort in their eyes, then baby sighs with contentment.  it's heart melting.

of course, if you and your baby for some reason were not able to nurse, i have absolutely no judgement about that.  or if you were able to nurse and decided not to.  obviously i think it's the best thing for the baby, but you gotta do what is best for you and your baby and family.  sometimes it just doesn't work out to breastfeed, and there are obviously millions of babies that were raised on formula that are healthy and intelligent and bonded with their momma.

about the logistics of weaning ava; like i mentioned she started dropping some feedings on her own.  at some point we night weaned when hubby took over putting ava to sleep and tending to her during the night (thanks hubby, that was a huuuuuge help).  eventually, just organically we only had the nap time and first thing in the morning nursing sessions.  for nap time, i encouraged her to get cozy under her blankets, to snuggle her baby dolls, and i would turn on her glow worm.  the first couple days were a little rough, she cried a lot.  she didn't nap the first day at all.  but then she was fine.  hubby had been putting her down for naps without milk for awhile.  and then the first thing in the morning nursing session was the last to go mostly because i was too tired and lazy early in the morning.  i knew if i just got up and took her straight downstairs for breakfast then it would be fine.  but she was waking up so early.  so instead, i just gave her my phone so she could watch videos of her and z.  or play a kitty game for toddlers.  eventually it turned into her finding out how to click on netflix, hahaha.  so i had to then shut that down.  but the weaning process was really gentle and turned out well for both of us.  i think i had one tiny spot of what felt like a little bit of a clogged duct towards the end but it went away quickly and was never very painful.  i savored the last few times we nursed, well i tried to, it was painful since her teeth had gouged a tear into my nipple.  but when i switched her to the other side, haha, i relished the last couple of times.  the weight of her little body, the way she curled around and melted into my lap and arms, her eyelashes fluttering as she started to doze to sleep, her little finger holding tightly around one of mine.  it was pleasant, and sweet, and a little sad at the same time.  it's strange, i'm glad that we are not nursing anymore, but i will miss it at times.

so that's it!  we are all done!

those beautiful times after nursing a newborn when they completely pass out in a milk coma

when ava was about 3-4 months old, this is often what she would do with her hands while nursing

when nursing became interesting with this one

all smiles after a pre-nap nursing session