mother of 3
holy cow guys. i haven't blogged for awhile. man, this whole "having 3 kids" thing is no joke! there is just so much. how do people do this? i love these little guys more than anything else in existence. but this is hard. i keep telling myself that it is hard because i am not taking the easy road most of the time---like, i could easily just give the kids an iPad or turn on the tv all day and not have to listen to whining or endure struggles, but i am trying to raise these guys to be good humans. and that is not easy.
i feel like i need to get organized. every day i tell myself to get my shit together. i am getting there.
i actually feel much more capable lately. roya is going to be 6 months old in a few days and so she is sleeping better, she is much more fun, more interactive, my body is starting to feel mostly healed and like i can work on stuff again, namely exercising, and eating healthy. i can go most days without having to take a nap. my anxiety is being dealt with. well, for the most part.
so i feel like i can take on more now. it's amazing how with the addition of each kid, my capacity increases, is stretched, really, and i am forced to figure things out with more and more responsibility and new challenges. i can really see now how parenting is one of the best opportunities to experience growth in myself. and the thing is, this growth is not just valuable to continue my life as a stay at home mom and a homemaker. balancing and juggling and scheduling, coaching, educating, organizing, arbitrating, cooking, cleaning, meeting, and so much more. these skills are honed and perfected and multi-tasking mamas can use those skills in careers outside the home. i haven't had a job yet that doesn't require these skills, and stay at home parents have to do these things well in order to have a smoothly running household. it's impressive. i'm not quite there yet, but i am learning, figuring it out, reflecting on what works and tweaking what needs to be changed.
there's a lot going on in my head right now. i have to somehow split myself so that i can spend quality time with each child, have a relationship with my husband, take care of myself, offer service. it's so much. it's almost crushing sometimes when i think about the enormity of it all. but i like having a purpose. when i am well, i thrive on the challenge. i feel myself coming into my power little by little. it's really cool to think of the possibilities that will become evident and what will manifest as a result.
i am living by this right now:
i feel like i need to get organized. every day i tell myself to get my shit together. i am getting there.
i actually feel much more capable lately. roya is going to be 6 months old in a few days and so she is sleeping better, she is much more fun, more interactive, my body is starting to feel mostly healed and like i can work on stuff again, namely exercising, and eating healthy. i can go most days without having to take a nap. my anxiety is being dealt with. well, for the most part.
so i feel like i can take on more now. it's amazing how with the addition of each kid, my capacity increases, is stretched, really, and i am forced to figure things out with more and more responsibility and new challenges. i can really see now how parenting is one of the best opportunities to experience growth in myself. and the thing is, this growth is not just valuable to continue my life as a stay at home mom and a homemaker. balancing and juggling and scheduling, coaching, educating, organizing, arbitrating, cooking, cleaning, meeting, and so much more. these skills are honed and perfected and multi-tasking mamas can use those skills in careers outside the home. i haven't had a job yet that doesn't require these skills, and stay at home parents have to do these things well in order to have a smoothly running household. it's impressive. i'm not quite there yet, but i am learning, figuring it out, reflecting on what works and tweaking what needs to be changed.
there's a lot going on in my head right now. i have to somehow split myself so that i can spend quality time with each child, have a relationship with my husband, take care of myself, offer service. it's so much. it's almost crushing sometimes when i think about the enormity of it all. but i like having a purpose. when i am well, i thrive on the challenge. i feel myself coming into my power little by little. it's really cool to think of the possibilities that will become evident and what will manifest as a result.
i am living by this right now:
this is getting me through the days when i just want to lay down and not do anything. because sometimes it feels like i may be getting into my stride and those little ones, bless their little hearts, seem to derail my progress. at least that's what it feels like. but i am coming to understand that they aren't the cause of getting off track, but the reason for expansion and growth, striving and pushing myself farther than i thought i could go and much more than i ever expected. i have to. i have to do it for them, for myself, for our little family and the fortress of well-being that hubby and i are building. it's painful and so hard to stay the course. but i am starting to feel excited about what kind of a person i will be a year from now, 10 years from now, if i trust and persevere. i am raising not another version of myself, but children that the world requires, children that will not stand idle and let things happen to them. they will have to remain steadfast and learn to be happy being different and not follow blindly in the footsteps of their peers. and that requires from me a creativity, patience and trust that i don't have at the moment. but i will find it. i will not fail my kids or myself.
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