my first fast in 5 years!

guys.  i get to fast this year.  for anyone that doesn't know what i'm talking about; Baha'is around the world all participate in a 19 day fast.  well, Baha'is that are between the ages of 15-70 that are in good health and not pregnant or nursing or not working a physically demanding job.  i will talk more about that in a bit.  but, because i have been either pregnant or nursing a baby for the past 5 years (i cannot even believe that!), i obviously have been exempt from fasting.  but this year, i reallllly wanted to fast.  and so my goal was to wean ava so that i could.  and she has been weaned for a little while now.  and i am healthy.  and definitely not pregnant, and although i feel like my job is physically demanding (whoever thinks staying at home with a preschooler and a toddler is easy and not demanding in every way hasn't stayed at home with a preschooler and a toddler), i am excited to participate in the fast this year.

and also nervous.

i am nervous for obvious reasons.  so the 19 day fast doesn't mean, obviously, that we don't eat or drink for 19 days straight.  it means that we abstain from food and drink from sunrise to sunset.  when the sun sets, we break the fast with dinner, and then wake up early in the morning to eat and drink before the sun rises again.  it sounds a lot more daunting than it is.  but, i still remember the fuzzy-brain, low energy, bad breath, cold body moments.  which is challenging in itself.  but then being responsible for two very active little ones makes it a lot more interesting!  i have never done this before.

but the anticipation!  i know it may sound very strange to be excited about this.  i think being exempt from fasting for the past 5 years, and also being in a position in this season of my life and motherhood, makes me yearn for it.  i feel like i am ready to take on more.  more service, more prayer and meditation, more time spent on activities that are just for me.  that sounds selfish.  but what i mean is, more time working on projects that may humbly contribute to the betterment of society, more time spent working with others to build spiritual communities, to build my business, to reach and push myself and grow in these new arenas of work and service that have been born out of prayer and meditation and longing for the next thing.  of course, i am not done being a mom, or a wife, or a servant of God, but since my little ones are becoming more independent and kindergarten and preschool days are in our future, i will have more time to spend on work.  and i am trying to figure out what that work will be.  i have been inspired with some ideas, so i am super excited to see what can grow out of these seedlings.  and the fast is the perfect time to explore that, as it encourages and nurtures detachment, clarity, a heightened understanding of spiritual nature, and being in this devotional state leads to inspiration, humility, gratitude for the miracle of the everyday.  i love this quote by Abdu'l-Baha, "Fasting is the cause of awakening man.  The heart becomes tender and the spirituality of man increase."

and besides all of the potential for spiritual growth and re-awakening, there is something so heart-warming about millions of other Bahai's around the world doing exactly the same thing, for the love of Baha'u'llah.

so to transition into the practical aspects of fasting, i will share what i have done and am currently doing to prepare myself.  i probably wouldn't have thought to do this, but i (not so coincidentally in my opinion) came across something in the Baha'i writings about preparing oneself for the fast.  and i was like, oh yea, i should probably do that.  so in january, i did a 30 day yoga challenge.  and then in february i started a 28 day meditation focus.  and i posted these resources from youtube that i found on this parenting Facebook group i started last year, so that others could participate with me if they wanted.  and it was a really great way to figure out how to take a few minutes here and there throughout my day to slow down, breathe, still my mind, and either set an intention for the day or re-focus on my intention for the day.  the yoga was so helpful for me in so many ways.  and the meditation focus has been great for me to practice calming my mind, letting go of thoughts to be able to receive whatever it is from the universe, from God, that i need in that moment.  i still have a lot of practicing to do though, haha.  my mental to-do list always sneaks in while i am meditating.  and i have been reading writings specifically about the period of the fast, which has been wonderful.  another Baha'i mom had suggested to start fasting in between meal times, which was very helpful for me because i have been snacking in between meals ever since i was pregnant with my daughter.  so this is a great time to limit that and prepare my body for periods of not eating.  now the other thing i need to do is get this whole 'waking up early' thing down.  i am really struggling with waking up early these days!

i also read a blog post from another Baha'i mom who wrote an article about her top 7 tips for fasting with young kids around, http://bahaiblog.net/site/2017/03/7-tips-fasting-young-children/.  i love this article, and i think the best tip for me was 'not sweating the small stuff'.  you basically just do not have the energy to constantly be on your kids about everything throughout the day.

so anyway, if you are also fasting this year, let me know how you are preparing, how you are feeling about it, and what you find helpful while fasting with little ones.