baby rowhani 2.0

yup, that's right!  we're having baby #2!  I'm 11 weeks along now, we have told our family and some friends, and we're doing this thing.  i got pregnant around the end of february and realized around mid-march, and confirmed my suspicions with a pregnancy test.  about a week and a half later it was confirmed at the doctor's.  it's been kind of a rough first trimester, not as bad as some people experience, so really i'm lucky, but school is very busy, toddler rearing is challenging and tiring, and i've had bad nausea for 6 weeks.  i had nausea when i was pregnant with z, too, but i feel like it has been more intense this time around.  maybe it's because i'm more tired and can't just take care of myself first and foremost.  oh, and z has been sick off and on and had a bout of diarrhea for a week which was soooooooooo much fun for me.  it was hard to keep from hurling all over the place, but we made it through.  but anyway, i'm due in november, which i'm kind of excited about because z was born in july when it was really hot, so it'll be a nice change, but a little nervous because that's right at the start of flu and cold season.  but i'm sure it'll be fine. the kids will be 2.5 years apart, which i think is a great age distance.  my brother and i are 2.5 years apart and we were close but not too close in age.  i am kind of hoping for a girl just because i think it would be fun to have one of each, but really don't have that much of a preference.  if we have a boy that will be wonderful, too, and we have everything for a boy already! haha.  but we will find out around 20 weeks or so.  so because i am 35, this is considered a "geriatric pregnancy".  can you believe it!?  really, geriatric?  jeez.  i was reviewing my after visit summary and it said my pregnancy was "high risk elderly primagravida".  i laughed out loud.  yea, i'm 35 but i hardly think i'm elderly for crying out loud.  anyway, we declined the genetic testing because personally, i wouldn't terminate the pregnancy based on the results, and we both feel comfortable and confident that no matter the outcome, we will be fine.  so let's get these geriatric pregnancy updates going!  i decided to do the weekly pregnancy updates again because i enjoy going back and reading the ones i did from the pregnancy with z.  so, i'll do the 12 week update on a separate post.

since i was surprised with this pregnancy, it was helpful for me to write down how i was feeling, so here is the mini journal of the first 10 weeks or so:

what!!???!!!!

3/16/15:  so, today i just found out some crazy news.  i'm pregnant.  i'm pretty sure.  i took a test, and it was faint, but there were definitely two lines.  i was about to get into the shower, took a test because i just knew and it was positive.  i told z that he was going to be a big brother, and then i panicked.  i started getting light headed and seeing stars, my breathing was all over the place and i was shaky.  don't get me wrong, i was happy, but i was freaked out.  mainly because the previous week, after consulting with hubby and asking advice of some friends, we decided to wait to try for baby 2.0 until i was done with spring quarter.  because spring quarter, the last one, would be a little more intense, i'd be taking more classes and be on campus every day, which makes the days more hectic, midterms and finals more time consuming and stressful.  i decided that it would be better to wait, not to add that extra challenge right now, because i remember how hard the first trimester is with the 24 hour a day nausea and extreme fatigue.  i'm able to keep up with everything now; school, homework, raising z, trying to keep the house together, making meals and running my photography business, but anything extra at this point will really really push me.  so, apparently, i am going to be pushed!  i told hubs when he came home, and thankfully, blessedly, he was excited and assured me that i could do it, we could do it, and that we are in a good place to be able to have baby #2.  that really calmed me down.  i had a feeling in my gut that i may be pregnant a little while ago.  it was at the ayyam-i-ha party that i was feeling so ill, my stomach felt awful and i thought i was going to hurl, i was dizzy.  the next day at the children's party in the morning, too, i felt better but was nauseous and tired to the point of being dizzy.  and then the following week i was just so damn tired, again to the point of being dizzy.  i remember telling hubby that i needed to go to the doctor for a physical because i was either iron deficient or had something majorly wrong because i did not feel normal.  in the back of my head i thought perhaps i could be pregnant but, i second guessed my gut feeling.  but then today, i just had a feeling.  so i took the test.  and there it was, the confirmation.  so, i will make the appointment with my doctor for my physical and get a follow up pregnancy test done, and then make an appointment with the midwives.  as hubs said, "ok, let's do this!"

so far, i don't look any different (except maybe more haggard and tired?).  i have had some symptoms, the ones listed above plus extra crankiness, and two days of pretty painful cramping.  no morning sickness yet, but i am hungry quite often and if i don't eat every 2 hours i start to get dizzy and a little queasy.  i'm hoping that i don't have bad morning sickness so that i can just get through the last quarter of school as easily as possible.  but perhaps the distraction of school is good, and the fact that, since z will be in childcare, i can focus on myself during that time, that sounds bad, but other mamas know, if you are pregnant and you are chasing after a toddler, likely you don't take the time to feed yourself and take care of yourself as well as the first time around.  so, there's that.  i'm already thinking of what we need to do to the house to get things ready, of course.  convert the office into a nursery, make z's room a big boy room, move the office stuff to the front living room and make it a reading/office/play room.  lots to do! 

3/17/15:  i told z this morning that he is going to be a big brother.  i said that mama has a baby in her belly and that it will grow and be born and then he will have a baby brother or sister, and he will be a big boy!  he said, "ok."  haha.  then i told him that when you are a big boy, you get to have a big boy room and big boy bed, and that you don't need mama's milk anymore.  we have weaned off all nursing except for first thing in the morning because i am simply too tired and lazy at 5 or 6 am to deal with the weaning process.  but i can't be pregnant and nurse, because it's just too much for me.  i know lots of women do, but i think it will drain me too much.  so, i'm trying to get him prepared.

3/18/15:  this morning z actually slept until about 7:45am!  he has been sleeping so well the past week, it's wonderful.  anyway, when he woke up, he didn't nurse, i was able to distract him with a 'show' on netflix, he likes this nursery rhymes show that consists of singing and video of children playing and stuff.  although i don't like the idea of him watching shows yet, it is the only way that i can get ready for school in the morning for 20 minutes without him trying to climb up my leg.  and it proved to be a good distraction this morning, when the show ended he asked for milk, but like previously i told him that he already had milk (he bought it! haha) and that we could go down and eat some breakfast.  and it worked! ha! so day 1 of weaning was a success!

3/29:  so i am now 6 weeks along.  6 days ago i went to the doctor and had the pregnancy confirmed, and we then told our parents and siblings.  everyone is excited!  z is completely weaned from nursing, i think it's been about 2 weeks now.  the other day i had a little bit of a breakdown, i have been experiencing anxiety attacks and i have been pretty tightly would and stressed out, and a huge contributing factor is the fact that z has been so so so clingy and cranky and just difficult.  i think it's a teething-illness-weaning combo in addition to just being 21 months old.  it has been extremely challenging.  but after crying it out for a minute and venting to hubby, and getting some really great advice from my amazing massage therapist (she is seriously like my life therapist, too), i feel better and we have a plan of action for how to discipline z and all that.  in the last week or so i have been experiencing a little bit of nausea, some food aversions and sensitive smell, extreme hunger, mood swings.  there hasn't been a lot of physical changes yet.  i am hoping that this is as bad as it gets because it is manageable.  when i was pregnant with z, as soon as i hit 5 weeks i was nauseous 24 hours a day, could not handle any kind of smells, had lots of food aversions and breast tenderness.  but this time around it's not the same, and i'm thankful.  but a little scared, too, because sometimes i forget that i'm pregnant.  but i keep reading that every pregnancy is different even in the same mother and that this is all normal.  i haven't been able to schedule an appointment with the midwives yet, i think i can do that at about 8-9 weeks.  i start school tomorrow----so it begins!  my last quarter!

4/7:  so i am deep into the first trimester pregnancy symptoms.  nausea, acidic stomach, extreme fatigue, back pain, moodiness, hormonal swings, etc.  the only symptoms i don't have are frequent urination (my first pregnancy---i had to pee every 10 minutes, no exaggeration), and breast tenderness.  so there's that.  but it does kind of freak me out, at least if you have symptoms you're a little reassured that you're still pregnant.  but i'm trying to not freak out, and i don't really have time for it.  but anyway, so i'm experiencing symptoms.  it's hard to smell things, it's hard to take my prenatal vitamins, it's hard to be awake during the day, i can't even handle coffee.  you know, stuff like that.  being in school during the week is keeping me busy.  i'm trying to get through it all with ginger tea, peppermint hard candies, sour candy (i have no idea why this helps, but sour things seem to be easing my stomach), tums, crackers, lots of carbs and fruit.  ground beef is out, as is anything cooked with garlic for some strange reason.  even water is hard on my stomach.  i am so thirsty and i normally drink a lot of water during the day but i just can't right now.  so i'm just waiting for this stuff to pass; being nauseous but constantly hungry is the most annoying.  i'm almost 8 weeks along now and the fetus is about the size of a gummy bear.  cute! 

4/11:  definitely feeling more nauseous and queasy these days.  i'm hoping i'm at the peak of morning sickness and that it will end in 2 or 3 weeks.  i think last time around 10 or 11 weeks my morning sickness symptoms ended.  i'm hoping it's the same this time.  the last couple of days have been rough. today i saw a video of some newborns being suspended in water after their birth, very gently, and it made me think, 'wow, i'm going to have one of those again!'  that's kind of the first time since i found out i was pregnant that i've thought about having a baby again.  i can't wait til these symptoms are done!

4/21:  the last 2 days i have been feeling a little less nauseous, thank goodness!  i know that "morning sickness" peaks around week 8-9 and then declines after that, and when i was pregnant with z i think it was sometime in week 10 that my nauseousness all of a sudden just went away.  so here's hoping!  i can do so many more things when i am not curled up in the fetal position moaning and whining.  my belly is definitely pooching out, in fact i am so uncomfortable in my pants already that i want to start wearing my maternity pants but they are still a little bit too big.  so i've been living in stretchy pants and i really could care less.  i have even started wearing a few maternity tunics because my normal shirts make me look like i have one heck of a beer belly.  i think in the next couple of weeks i will be in my maternity clothes for real.  my stomach muscles are just letting it all hang out.  oh, and this morning while laying in bed flat on my back i sneezed so hard that the force of it launched me upward and i'm pretty sure that i pulled all the atrophied muscles in my stomach.  hahahaha.  they are so sore.  i noticed that i am really sensitive to dairy lately.  at first i thought i had a cold, with a sore throat, but i noticed that it goes away after a few days and then happens again after i eat ice cream or have yogurt or a lot of cheese one day.  i have a little bit of a dairy sensitivity, but this is much more pronounced.  and it wasn't like this with my first pregnancy.  so i'm trying to limit my dairy even more, although it's hard because string cheese is one of my staples lately.  and every once in awhile, having some ice cream is like heaven, it's cold, creamy, and settles my stomach a bit.  oh well.  hopefully i can be done with this morning sickness soon.

4/29:  today we went to the first prenatal visit with the midwife.  i am going to be 11 weeks tomorrow.  we went earlier when i was pregnant with z, but this was the soonest we could get in, and it was fine because we got to see the baby on ultrasound and hear the heartbeat.  it's always so cool to see the baby move around on the ultrasound.  and this baby was moving!  very wiggly!  the midwife was laughing because she was surprised that i was showing already.  my belly is definitely poochy nowadays.  i am showing more than i was this time with the first pregnancy.  she asked if we had twins in our family and we said yes, and she said hmmmm....but then we saw the ultrasound and there is just one baby in there.  the nausea today was really bad, i am just hoping that i can be done with it soon!  it will make life so much more pleasant!  but i'm trying to hang in there, and poor hubby is dealing with cranky, tired, nauseous wife and cranky, testy, challenge-authority, super active toddler.