weaned!

warning! in this post I talk about nursing and whatever that entails so if you don't want to know about nipples and engorgement and nursing then skip this one!

we are weaned!  well, z is weaned.  from nursing.  he is almost 21 months old, and we nursed for longer than i thought we would.  i was initially aiming for 12 months and then we would just see where it went from there.  our breastfeeding journey started off a little bit rocky as z wasn't a great latcher, i experienced soreness, cracking and bleeding for the first week until the lactation consultant suggested using a nipple shield.  that thing was a life saver even though it was kind of annoying to use 12 times a day, but it really helped.  around 4 months we were able to stop using it and z nursed like a champ after that, we both had this breastfeeding thing down and could nurse anywhere, in lots of different positions, with no problems.  it was great.  when he turned one i introduced cow's milk and was hoping to ramp down the breastfeeding a little bit.  i did some reading about how to wean, what other mothers did to get the process going.  i wasn't planning on completely weaning him at the time, but just wanted to think about it.  i knew that z loved his milk!  and that it would probably be difficult to get him weaned until he was more ready.  and i knew that i wanted it to be a very gentle, organic process and not forced or rushed for either of us.  and i didn't have a timeframe for any of this, i just knew that i wanted him to be weaned before we decided to get the baby train rolling for rowhani 2.0, which would be after school is over for me.  he naturally dropped 2 feedings in the day on his own, just from eating more food and being very active.  then, when i went back to school in the fall and he was being cared for by my friend, we were able to drop another feeding.  at this point i was nursing him in the morning when we woke up, for naps on the days that i was off school, before bed, and during the night if/when he woke up.  my first goal was to drop the nap time nursing session, and it was pretty easy.  he was more used to taking a nap without nursing, so all i did was just cuddle with him and rock him and he would fall asleep anywhere from 10-20 minutes later.  then we just had the morning, bed time and night nursing happening.  i was a little concerned about how to cut off the bedtime and night nursing, and i had read some good ideas from other mommy bloggers, but hadn't decided on which tactic to use.  but one night, i was soooooooooooooo tired, and z was really tired, and i was simply just too lazy to nurse him, so after reading some books and saying some prayers, i just lay down next to him on the floor and we both fell asleep without nursing, then i woke up about 15 minutes later and moved him to his crib and that was that.  huh.  that was weird. then the next night i decided to try the same thing to see if this was a fluke, or if we could do it again.  and we did it again.  this time, he did ask for milk, but i told him that he already had milk (he didn't) and that it was time to go to sleep.  and he rolled over and fell asleep.  what the?!  we continued this for the next week or so, and it went well.  there were only a couple instances where he fussed and cried after i told him that he had already had milk, and it didn't last long.  i couldn't believe that he bought that line and that it worked!  i noticed that if i told him that the milk was going night-night or that he could have milk in the morning, or some other things that i read that other mamas did, he would cry, but if i said that he already had milk, he would accept it and go to sleep.  i guess whatever works huh?  at this time we were struggling with z sleeping through the night.  he would wake up multiple times to nurse and sometimes i could nurse him in the rocking chair in his room and put him back in his crib and other times that wouldn't work so i would take him back to our bed.  but then he would nurse every hour or so like a newborn!  like this was an all night, all you can eat buffet!  i knew he was just doing it for comfort, and i thought that there had to be a better way.  i figured that if i could night wean him, that he would be able to sleep through the night.  we got to the point that none of us was sleeping well and it was really affecting hubs and i, our ability to function during the day.  so i decided i needed to take action, and i decided that i would have to night wean and sleep train at the same time.  i read about dr jay gordon's night weaning process and it seemed reasonable to me.  his explanation about it is here.  and we pretty much stuck with it until we got to the last 4 nights, 7-10.  at that point z had several nights of screaming his face off and hubby and i would just be laying down next to his crib trying to comfort him without picking him up.  it was brutal.  i think during this time his first year molars were coming in, too, so it was making the situation worse.  i decided to remain in this portion of the process until conditions improved, meaning that if he woke up in the night between 11pm-6am, i would just go into his room, lay down on the floor next to his crib and pat his back or hold his hand until he fell back asleep.  so that's what we did for 2-3 weeks or so.  and then, after his molars cut, it magically got better, and he began sleeping through the night more often, and then more often, until he was sleeping through the night most of the time.  oh, i also read about the 18 month
sleep regression, and read some really interesting things in The Wonder Weeks that at least explained why he was having such a hard time sleeping during this time, in addition to the teething.  the major developmental leap that he was experiencing was causing this restlessness.  so it was comforting to know that there were reasons why we were stuck in limbo with sleep training, and that it would get better.  some good advice that i read was that just to continue to do what i was doing since it was working, but just don't create any new sleep associations that could be used as crutches that i would have to wean him from later like rocking him or bringing him back to our bed, etc.  so anyway, things got better and we were all sleeping so much better.  z still doesn't sleep through the night every night, he wakes up mostly when he is sick or has a bad dream or something like that and i am able to go in and pat him on the back or if he is really having a hard time, lay next to his crib on the floor and pat his back or hold his hand until he falls back to sleep.  it's definitely so much better than where we were, and he hasn't had night feedings for about 3 months now.  so the only one left was the morning nursing sessions, and i was nervous about that.  because every morning he would wake up between 5-6:30 am and want some milk and only then go back to sleep for an hour.  but that turned out to be not so difficult as well.  i just used the same tactic, "you already had milk" and he would go back to sleep.  there were only a few times that he cried and required extra attention.  i was so surprised!!  so, that was it!  we are done.  i am very happy with how our breastfeeding journey turned out and comfortable and pleased with how it ended.  it was definitely a wonderful experience and i feel blessed that we were able to nurse as long as we did.  but now my baby is getting to be a big boy and i have my body back in a sense, haha.