last year

July 01, 2014

last year

very pregnant, taking the bump and my cankles for a walk

i've been thinking a lot about this time last year. mostly because my baby boy is turning one in a few days. i think about how pregnant i was last year, how uncomfortable and swollen i was and how hot the weather turned out to be. the anxiousness and excitement to meet my baby. the texts, calls and facebook messages asking if i was in labor yet, was baby on his way? i remember experiencing lots of braxton hicks contractions. i remember eating all the fruit. i remember that my dear friend sabrina and her kids came to visit in hopes to be here when the baby was born, but he just wasn't ready yet. he was 5 days past his "due date". i think back to last fourth of july. i was so big and it was hard to do anything. it was about 95 degrees outside and 105 in our apartment. hubs and i didn't really do anything to celebrate. i laid on the couch with ice packs on the back of my neck and on my feet to try to cool down. i think that was the day we walked around home depot looking at bathroom vanities and toilets in preparation for the new home we were in the process of buying. well, hubby walked and i waddled, lumbered. i was feeling tired. i think about how labor and delivery went, how amazed i was at the process. i remember seeing how happy my mom was that she got to be there to watch z being born, and same with my mother in law. i remember the not-so-fun healing period. when i wash my hands the smell of the soap in our bathroom brings me back to when z was just days old and we were at home. i was washing my hands 20 times a day with that same scented soap. i remember his tiny little body and all his hair, his grumpy expressions and feeling my heart squeeze when my hubby would gaze at our son, kiss him on his forehead and tell him that he loved him soooooo much. those newborn days are fuzzy-edged in my mind now but are so sweet. i look back at that time now, mostly forgetting about the lack of sleep (honestly i feel more tired now that z wakes up 3 times a night and i chase after him all day), and the uncomfortable healing period, and the stressful new mother hormone driven freak outs and remember my baby all curled up, hands and feet and legs curled into a ball, i remember the squeaky noises that he would make and the funny faces. i will always cherish that time last year.