32-33 weeks pregnancy 3.0

hey there.  it's been awhile!  i think the last post was at 20 weeks when we had our ultrasound.  well, there has been a lot of growth since then!  both her and me.  let's see.  i feel like a lot has happened since then but i don't remember, haha.  that's pregnancy for you.  this post was actually for 32-33 weeks and i am going to be 35 weeks in a couple days, so the post is kind of late, but it pretty much still applies.  kids have been in school and preschool, we started Z in basketball, ava has been still doing her dance classes.  we travelled to california to visit my hubby's family and meet our new twin niece and nephew.  i'm sure we did some other stuff, but just don't remember.  i have been trying to lay low and rest and take care of myself.  sometime towards the end of march i got a cold and it literally knocked me on my ass for a few days, i just stayed on the couch and did the most basic things like feeding myself and the kids, and hubby was out of town at that time so i had to enlist the help of my folks because i could barely get up.  then i healed from that, but a month later got sick again (this was about 3-ish weeks ago) and took like 14 days to start feeling normal.  then i still had congestion and a runny nose and coughing but it was either allergies or just inflammation from pregnancy.  but now i am getting legit sick again.  swollen lymph nodes in my neck and all.  i remember at the end of the pregnancy with ava getting several colds back to back and i even had a cold a week before her due date.  so i don't know what's the deal, maybe i am just more worn out and susceptible to illness towards the end of pregnancy.  i have been experiencing third trimester stuff like sciatic pain again, and lower back pain, lots of braxton hicks, swelling of my hands and feet (mostly when it was warm out), lots of pressure down at the business end haha, pubic pain, baaaad reflux at night.  some days i have constant reflux, like literally all day and all night.  it's so annoying.  let's see, shortness of breath, heart palpitations.  lord, just all of it, haha.

oh!  and i forgot to mention, i have gestational diabetes this time around, too.  i took the glucose test a little early, around 22 weeks or so, and failed, but not so badly that they wanted to do a 2 hour test.  i declined because it's hard to take a few hours out of the day to do an appointment like this because i don't really have childcare without burdening someone, and also because at that appointment you drink the 75 gram glucola which has always made me feel so sick and have a headache for days afterwards and after consulting with the midwife it sounded like chances would be slim that i would pass that test, so just to avoid all that i asked her to proceed with the gestational diabetes diagnosis.  after a week or so of monitoring my blood sugar it was clear that i definitely had GD anyways because my sugar spikes so easily.  so i was fine with just dealing with it again.  honestly, it makes me eat better and gain less weight.  i have already gained 40 lbs at this point, which i think is ok because i probably would have been considered 10 lbs underweight at the beginning of pregnancy.  so i will likely gain 50 lbs again with this pregnancy, i came close to that with z and gained about 50 lbs with ava i think.  so if i didn't have to watch what i eat, who knows how much weight i would put on?!!  i really just care about that because i want my baby to be healthy and don't want to put any added stress on my heart and my joints than necessary.  this is tough work, growing a baby!

so that i don't feel like all i'm doing is complaining, i will say that my skin looks good, it seems like my teeth are moving super fast with the invisalign (i heard that happens with pregnancy, who knows), and even though i feel super large, when i look at pictures of myself i think i look pretty decent--meaning, i finally have curves!  haha, generally in pregnancy when i gain some weight and get some curves i feel feminine for one of the few instances in my life.  i think part of it too is just the fact that my body is doing something amazing by growing an entire human being and accompanying organ from just a few cells.  it still blows my mind.

i was thinking about how this pregnancy is different than the other two.  i read something about how each pregnancy is its entirely own thing and you are a different mom each time, too.  each pregnancy is different from the next even in the same woman, and is a unique experience.  you are a different person and different mom this time than the other times.  it was pretty cool to think about.  and it feels so true.  one of the most notable things for me was that with my first pregnancy i had more energy, but i also wanted to "prove" that i could still do all the things while pregnant.  i was strong, i could do things.  i didn't need help.  and mostly that was true.  i had no other kids to take care of and although i was finishing spring quarter at UW, i had much more free time than i did at any other point.  the second time around, i was finishing my degree at UW and was pregnant with ava, and had a toddler, so i literally did not have time to do anything besides all the things.  it was necessary.  i had to go to class, do homework, work on projects, run after my toddler and everything that comes with that.  i didn't really have time to rest.  this time around, partly because i understand the concept and importance of self care so much more, and also just because i want to and am so tired, i have been doing what i want and need to do for myself so much more.  i am so much more tired this time around, so i take naps.  i say no to things.  i don't overload our schedule.  i spend more time on small acts of self-care like twice weekly sheet masks.  i have gotten two pedicures!  i haven't had a pedicure for so long before this.  but someone needs to cut my toenails cause i can't reach!  haha.  i got a massage to help with sciatic pain.  i use the foam roller everyday to help with back pain and sciatic pain (i don't know why but this feels like a luxury, probably because in the past i would have just suffered through).  stuff like that.  most importantly, i rest when i need to instead of pushing myself to utter exhaustion and pain.  well, for the most part.  the past few days has had me feeling super nest-y so i have been pushing my body and usually end up regretting it by the evening.  at first i felt guilty for taking care of myself.  but then realized that it is an absolute necessity.  take naps for example, if i don't take a short nap in the afternoon then i have no energy for the last chunk of the day; picking up z from school, spending time with the kids, making dinner and cleaning up dinner.  that takes a lot of energy and if i don't nap, i trudge through it grumpily and impatiently.  it serves no one.  so that has been one of the most different things this pregnancy.

i also feel like it's been kind of hard lately because i am trying to train my kids and prepare them for when the baby comes.  for example, i want them to be a little more independent.  they need to be able to clean up after themselves, put their toys away when they are done, make their beds, put their laundry in the laundry room, help set the table, etc.  Z has been fixing cereal for the both of them when they wake up and i'm not downstairs yet, he gets the bowls and pours the cereal and the milk.  sometimes, well usually, there is a mess to clean up but i facilitate and they wipe up spills or take the title vacuum and clean up any rogue cereal.  if they make a mess with their toys in the morning and we don't have time to clean it up before school, i just leave it for them to clean up after we pick up Z from school.  i used to just tidy it for them but i am really trying to foster this sense of independence and also being part of a family.  i talk to them about how in a family everyone needs to help and do their part for the family to function well, we all need to work together.  my goal is to have chores that they need to do around the house because that's their way to contribute to the family, and then to have other chores they can choose to do to earn money.  right now we're still working on being consistent with the chores that they have to do and then when that's more established i will add in a few chores that they can earn money for.  it takes so much work and it's hard to be consistent on all this myself, but i'm trying as best i can because after this baby is born i imagine i won't have as much time/energy to fulfill all the demands that they kids have now.  it's crazy, the moment i wake up and come downstairs they are on me asking for a million things.  most of it they can do themselves (mama can you get me some water, mama i spilled, mama i have to go potty, and on and on).  one of the biggest things though is getting them to clean up after themselves and put toys and stuff away when they are done.  it seems like i am constantly on them about cleaning up before pulling something else out, but i really want them to get it.  i feel like i have been reminding and facilitating this for months and they still don't just do it on their own. granted, they are 5 (almost 6!) and 3, so i get that it may be a little while before they just do it automatically.  but anyway, this has been a huge priority for me right now.

as far as preparing for this baby, i feel like we have a to-do list of things we want to get done before the baby comes but didn't really work on any of it until recently.  and now i'm like, holy sh$%!, we only have about 7-8 weeks left!  recently hubby scraped the popcorn off the ceiling in the guest room/nursery, textured and painted the ceiling and painted the walls.  so the guest room is pretty much ready to go.  i just want to add a few things like wall shelves and some little extras on the wall for baby, just really minimal stuff, because that will function as a guest room for awhile.  i imagine the baby will sleep in our room until about 4 months and then we will transition her to her own mini crib in the guest room.  then at some point, maybe next year or so we will see, we will convert it fully into her own room and re-arrange things so that the guest bed is in either ava or z's room.  so there isn't a lot of stuff to do in that room, not like i did with z's and ava's nursery.  i'm more concerned at this stage with getting the stuff that you need for when baby comes like diaper cream, baby wash and lotion, aquaphor, a new thermometer, some baby towels, you know that kind of stuff.  and then postpartum stuff for me.  it adds up surprisingly fast, but it's all stuff we need to get.  we will cloth diaper this time around, too, but we typically don't start until month 2 or so depending on how big the baby is.  so just some minor things to get ready before it's baby time!

oh, but just this past week i was thinking that i should probably start prepping myself mentally for childbirth again.  stuff like the different stages of labor, what early labor feels like and what the signs are, how to breathe during the different stages, etc.  i definitely feel like i don't need to review that stuff too intensely, not like i did when i as pregnant with Z, but just a quick reminder of all that.  i will put some playlists together again and be more consistent about listening to some hypo-birthing tracks again and affirmations and all that.  it seems like i didn't have much time to deal with any of that with ava's labor, because it went so fast for me, but the midwives say the third baby's labor is a wild card; sometimes it can be super fast and sometimes it can be longer or different than expected.  so i guess we will wait and see what happens!  i would definitely welcome some good vibes and prayers our way so that the labor goes smoothly and that i don't give birth in the car.  or end up with any complications.  haha, that would be great!

bumping in the sun

hellooooo from waaaaay down there

this is where i am most of the time now, in my rocker