37-ish weeks baby 3.0

trying to look cute in the last few weeks of this pregnancy

yo.  so as of right now i am 37, nearly 38 weeks along here (actually, as of now when i published this i am 38 weeks and 1 day).  for some reason, when i was first pregnant and set up all my info on the pregnancy app, it estimated my due date as july 11, and that my week changed on thursdays.  and that's the day i've been measuring my weeks by.  but at my last appointment, which was last monday, the midwife told me i was 37 weeks on that day, which makes sense since my due date is july 8.  that means that i was about 4 days farther along than i thought.  which doesn't really mean much, but at the end of pregnancy when every day is a struggle to get through, haha, 4 days is a lot!

all that to say i was shocked to realize that i had only 3 weeks left.  and now as i write this i'm shocked to realize that i have just a couple days over 2 weeks left.  according to my due date.  crazy.

anyway, the last week or so has been interesting.  i mean terrible.  haha.  i was having some issues with ava going to the bathroom when she needed to, she kept having accidents all of a sudden and would complain every now and then that her privates hurt.  i didn't think too much of it because she never complained about burning while she peed.  long story short, we were up all night one night with her peeing even 45 minutes or so, screaming her head off, with a high fever and vomiting.  it was awful.  she turned out to have a UTI/kidney infection.  we treated it with antibiotics, and she seemed to be getting better.  but the nights were rough and she was still waking up frequently, still had a fever.  then on a sunday her fever spiked, and she just seemed miserable again.  so we had to drop Z off with some friends and take ava to urgent care.  the whole time we were there i was having contractions about 5 minutes apart.  we were there for a few hours, had to deal with giving her an enema and all of the aftermath, trying to get her to stay on the toilet to let the stuff do its job while she's screaming and crying.  it was awful.  but afterwards she felt so much better, and we found out the antibiotics were working on her infection, so it worked out.  but it was hard physically since i am just sooooo big and uncomfortable, and was having these contractions.

i have been having braxton hicks contractions forever during this pregnancy, but they started to intensify, and recently i felt like the contractions i was having have been more intense than BH but not as strong or consistent as real contractions.  when i looked it up on the internets i found out it has a name---prodromal labor.  or otherwise known as false labor.  that makes sense.  i guess prodromal labor is like the next step after BH, it's not dilating the cervix but it is prepping things; maybe softening and effacing the cervix, stuff like that.  i read that it may possibly make real labor shorter since your body has done some of the work already.  so that's fine with me.  there's also some other things that make me think my body is prepping for labor, constantly clearing everything out haha, and some crampy feelings, kind of like menstrual cramps and lower back pain.  i am also very very very tired.  physically tired and exhausted.  i haven't been sleeping well because i am just so uncomfortable and have lots of heartburn and it takes a tow truck to get me up out of bed to pee 100 times.

as i am finishing this post i am 38 weeks today!  so 2 more weeks!  i am both nervous and exited to get labor going.  obviously it'll happen when it's supposed to and i am not looking to start labor early because it's better for the baby to stay in there until 40 weeks.  but man, i am just physically done!  haha.  when i went to the midwife last week she said it sounded like my body was prepping and also said that because of my age, there is a statistically higher chance of having a stillbirth.  even though the chances are still very low of that happening, it just increases with age.  so they recommend at this point on to have 2 times weekly non-stress tests to see how baby is doing and make sure my placenta is still doing what it needs to do.  everything is normal; my blood pressure, my liver function, my thyroid, my iron levels, and i am managing my blood sugar still through diet.  the baby's heartbeat is great, she is head down and is moving a lot.  so things are physically going well.  i am just so tired!  i cannot get over it.

actually i wanted to vent for a moment.  can we just take a second to appreciate how much a woman's body goes through during pregnancy (labor and postpartum are a whole other beast----jeez!).  i was thinking the other day how i don't know another time in your life when it's normal to have so many shitty things happening to your body and have so much discomfort all at the same time.  honestly, at this point there's heartburn, slight nausea, loose stools, swelling of all kinds of body parts (like feet, hands, face, even my lips are bigger than normal), tailbone pain, splitting pubic bone pain, pubic pressure, sciatica, lower back pain, shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, insomnia (so so cruel), excess saliva, frequent hunger, braxton hicks and pre-labor contractions, breast tenderness, cramp like feelings, erratic emotional state, anxiety, irritability and just an overall feeling of feeling over it all.  al of these symptoms i have and it's totally normal.  how crazy is that?!  sometimes my sciatica will burn like fire so badly that i am impressed.  like, i impressed with how freaking painful it is.  i'm sure not every woman experiences all of these symptoms or all at the same time, but that's just the reality for me at the end of this pregnancy, my third, and as an older woman.  haha, i know i am not old, but as far as childbearing, i'm up there.

even given my age and the fact that this is the third time around, which just takes its toll anyway, i am still so impressed by what my body can do by sustaining a healthy pregnancy.  the energy required to do all this stuff physiologically is incredible.

i am trying to prepare myself mentally for the labor.  my first two were intervention free, so no pain meds, no epidural, no forceps, none of that stuff.  i am obviously hoping to do the same this time around.  all the midwives say the third labor is always a wildcard; could be super quick, could be long, i could go into labor before the due date or be induced a week after.  i am trying to focus my thoughts towards a fairly quick, simple, manageable labor that is right around my due date.  nothing crazy please!  i have been reading positive natural birth stories (especially of third time labors) and remembering what i did with the other two to get through labor.  i am trying to keep myself motivated by thinking about the fact that we will have a baby girl at the end of this!  i think i may still put together a music playlist, even though i did that with the other two and didn't even remember to put any music on, haha.  i have a few prayers that i have memorized to keep my mind focused during labor.  my bag is packed, baby's bag is packed, hubby's bag is packed.  carseat base is installed, we have extra towels and blankets set aside.  i have sticky notes with the phone # that we call when i am in labor and heading to the hospital.  and another one with last minute things to throw into our bags like chargers.  my in-laws are coming into town to help out and to be with the kids when we go to the hospital.  my parents are on standby for when labor starts.  gas is in the car.  haha, everything is ready.

perhaps the next time i make a post it will be about the birth of this baby girl!  unless there's something exciting to post about before then.  but i'm hoping that it's smooth sailing until then!