stuff i've learned about being a new mama so far

hellloooooo there. i wanted to write a post about what i have found helpful and have learned about being a new mom.  i have a few friends that are pregnant, so hopefully i can humbly pass on some info now while it's still fresh in my mind, and hopefully it will be useful! 

i first want to reminisce about pregnancy since i'm now getting to the point where i remember it fondly, haha!  so, obviously taking care of your body and fetus is super important. but, i would encourage pregnant mommas to enjoy their pregnancy. it really is such an amazing time and i am still in awe of what our bodies are built to do.  so, relax, take time to record your experience maybe (i did through my blog and it's fun to look back and remember what i was doing then), do things for yourself now since you won't have time after baby arrives, read about, educate and prepare yourself for the birthing experience and the first few weeks of parenthood.  the more educated you are about labor and delivery the better, i think. same with the first weeks after baby is born.  think about how you want your birthing experience to unfold, ideally, but be flexible knowing that things may not go to plan. think about who you want to be around right after and within the first few weeks of baby's birth. if you can swing it, i would highly recommend having someone with you to help for 2 weeks after baby is born.  make sure you and they know that they are not there to just hold the baby.  in the beginning, you need people to help cook food, take care of laundry, shopping, etc and take care of you so that you have the time you need to sleep, figure out breast feeding (if you plan on nursing), recover, and spend time with your baby.  my in-laws were with us for 3 weeks and it was tremendously helpful, i will always be grateful to them for being there.

the next thing i want to write about is the first month.  i had planned to do nothing the first month except recover and be with my baby. i would recommend that if you can.  don't make plans that require a lot of energy and time, let people come to see you if you want guests, ask people to bring food with them! Hahahah. you owe it to yourself and your baby to just take that time for the two of you to bond and be together. include whoever you want, but this should be your time with your baby. it is so precious and goes by so quickly. take advantage of it.

some other topics:

you, your state of mind and your hormones:  being a new mommy is hard.  you are tired, your body is healing, you second guess yourself, others second guess you, your baby is needy, you rarely get a break... i could go on and on.  on top of that add the fact that your hormone levels are out of whack so any misguided comment or even a "are you ok?" from your partner can cause you to overreact or burst into tears.  just know, this is normal and in a few weeks you will be more yourself.  i was pretty emotional for the first 3 weeks or so but then one day i realized that i was feeling more myself, and more confident in my parenting abilities.  so don't fear, it gets better.  

other people's comments:  sometimes, people around you have good intentions but may come across to you as rude or inappropriate or that they are questioning your competence as a parent.  likely, they are not.  more likely, you are more sensitive and perhaps they don't think about what they say beforehand.  you will probably hear a lot of people (like your parents age) say things like ," we used to do it like this..." or you may get a lot of unsolicited advice from a range of people, those who don't have children, those that do, those that had children many years ago. mostly they are trying to be helpful.  i found that some had really helpful advice and those that didn't...well i would just listen, nod, and then move on.  if you get someone that is persistent in questioning your decisions or pushing their ideas relentlessly, i found that saying something like "this is what we decided and it works for us" or something to that effect gets the point across politely.  

your baby: there is a lot of new stuff going on with your baby.  he/she is new to this place and experiencing new sensations that may be uncomfortable and scary.  be patient with your little one.  and yourself.  lots of things are just phases at this point and baby changes week by week.  also, the term WSBD was coined at my childbirth class by a  new dad.  it stands for "weird sh&$ babies do" and describes them perfectly.  sometimes they just do weird things that have no explanation like waking up from a deep sleep to yelp a cry of dissatisfaction before quickly falling back to sleep.  

one last thing.  trust yourself.  you got this.  you are capable and have the innate ability to parent your baby. the more time goes by and experiences you and your baby go through, the easier it gets and more confident you will become.  educate yourself and decide what works for you and your family and throw away what doesn't.  take people's advice with discrimination, including this post! most people speak from their own experiences but every baby is different and every family is unique and even as time goes on parenting norms change based on new scientific research. one of the best pieces of wisdom was from my sister in law who said "yes, it's normal, no you're not crazy, you got this".  and again from my cousin who encouraged me to have faith in myself and my ability to be the best mama for my baby. so although these are my experiences and thoughts, you will live your own, unique to you and your baby.  and i am certainly no expert, just a new mama fresh from the first two months with my newborn, transitioning from the fourth trimester to babyhood.  i hope something in this post is helpful in some way.  i know it helped me to read about or hear other mommas' experiences.